VERSES FROM THE ABSTRACT #2: By Nobby V

Breyers Fruit On the Bottom Yogurt and the Professional Shysters in Marketing and Advertising that Shill For the All-Powerful Dairy
Industry:

Who the hell are you trying to fool? Fruit On the Bottom is not a “feature”, it’s a pain in the ass. If I wanted to eat plain yogurt I would have bought plain yogurt. Instead, I’ve either got to sit there with my spoon mixing the yogurt like I was stirring up another batch of bathtub meth, or endure 3/4 of a container of plain nastiness followed by 1/4 of a container of syrupy, over-sugered fruit puree. Do everyone a favor: admit that the Breyers people didn’t want to shell out the $1.4M for the yogurt mixing machine and
stop bullshitting us with the fancy scripted letters on the packaging proclaiming “Fruit on the Bottom” as if that should entice us to buy your yogurt over the supermarket brand, who somehow have managed to master the technology necessary to ensure an evenly blended mix of fruit and yogurt right out of the container. I’m on to you and your lies.